He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize