i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
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This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
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Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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