i need an iv and a liver transplant
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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