Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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