So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize