I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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