Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

dude why did you let me call her?!

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...

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(803): dude why did you let me call her?! (1-803): i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation... http://tfl.nu/4h0w

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(949): View more from California

how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?

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(949): how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to? http://tfl.nu/2e6r

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(719): View more from Colorado

Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

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(719): Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/49zr

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(916): View more from California

We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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(916): We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame. http://tfl.nu/u712

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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(201): just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this. http://tfl.nu/pmcq

Replies (21) Good night (1140) Bad night (5477)
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(831): View more from California

I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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(831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku

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(317): View more from Indiana

How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.

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(317): How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that. http://tfl.nu/g1sy

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

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(608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates

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(484): scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates http://tfl.nu/oxez

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(304): View more from West Virginia

High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

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(304): High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/jxf6

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.

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(724): He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right. http://tfl.nu/6rqx

Replies (7) Good night (478) Bad night (1052)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

When / where did the additional couches appear?

(732): View more from New Jersey

Additional?

(908): View more from New Jersey

James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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(908): When / where did the additional couches appear? (732): Additional? (908): James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up. http://tfl.nu/kn0g

Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (259)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out

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(715): Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out http://tfl.nu/7lpk

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.

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(506): Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it. http://tfl.nu/c7ua

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(312): View more from Illinois

I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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(312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu

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