Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just had sex bonerless
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize