All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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