yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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