I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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