so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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