we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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