Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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