Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize