I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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