There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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