i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize