I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize