Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize