chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize