and you said cock pushups were impossible
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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