Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize