I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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