it wasn't lemon gatorade
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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