I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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