Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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