Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize