Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina

(214): View more from Texas

i got awkward and finally asked him what he said

(214): View more from Texas

he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it

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(214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina (214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it http://tfl.nu/s46y

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(913): View more from Kansas

I love sluts.

(402): View more from Nebraska

I end my prayers with that every single night.

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(913): I love sluts. (402): I end my prayers with that every single night. http://tfl.nu/8il0

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(224): View more from Illinois

She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

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(224): She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on http://tfl.nu/bnaa

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"

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(860): You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW" http://tfl.nu/b6ij

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(307): View more from Wyoming

if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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(307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we

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(516): View more from New York

I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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(516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

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(902): i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this.. http://tfl.nu/inhx

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(516): View more from New York

i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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(516): i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher http://tfl.nu/pmh4

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(716): View more from New York

just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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(716): just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night http://tfl.nu/yn86

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(954): View more from Florida

well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.

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(954): well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success. http://tfl.nu/hp4n

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(281): View more from Texas

that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

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(281): that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnq5

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.

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(610): i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards. http://tfl.nu/8v5s

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(416): View more from Toronto

Everything smells like blood and olive oil.

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(416): Everything smells like blood and olive oil. http://tfl.nu/qieq

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.

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(913): I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll. http://tfl.nu/i4my

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(317): View more from Indiana

Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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(317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e

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