So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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