I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
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I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We're too hungover to prance.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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