did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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