I can't watch pbs sober anymore
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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