you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Barsexuality is the new black.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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