I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize