I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize