There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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