Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize