WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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