im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize