I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize