oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
its liver damage thursday
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize