I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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