i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize