Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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