pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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