omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize