We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
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I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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