The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize