If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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